Creating a storm, but unable to bear the rain!

Today morning itself, I read it somewhere: "Some people create their own storm, but get upset when it rains". The moment I read it, I related myself with it. This is one of many other such incidences happening since the past couple of days. It's like the universe is trying to bring my own reality in front of me, so that I can see it as a third-person's point of view. As they say, "When you really want to do something, the whole universe will conspire for you to achieve it". Nobody told me what the dear universe will do when I really, badly don't want something to happen. If you answer it with this: "The universe will conspire for that thing not to happen", then either you are wrong, or the universe should really get its facts straight, because it is doing only those things nowadays, which I really, badly don't want to happen.

Anyway, enough of universe stuff. The real thing here is: I am getting affected by a new symptom, a disease or whatever word from the dictionary you chose and call it. It is something that is unpleasant. Really, really, really unpleasant. There is a thing called "Midas touch". I am having just the opposite of that. I touch, and things screw up. In fact, it's even worse. I don't even touch, just the thought is enough to mess up things. Should I call it an "Anti-midas touch" or a "You-das touch"??? Anyway, I know I am in a really screwed up state of mind right now, and before I start seeing hands emerging out of my laptop screen to slap me, I should stop all this.

This usually happens to me. I go out as a very strong person, thinking whatever has to happen, will happen. I'll manage. But the fact is, the moment things start to go out of order, the loser in me strikes back again, who starts bothering about what people are thinking of me, why they are pissed off with me, what should I do to make them happy - there it is, I said it - to make THEM happy - and then, my actions start getting influenced by my thoughts. I start doing things to make others happy, not myself. 

While I was writing this article, suddenly, from somewhere a mail came flying in my mailbox, which said, "Success is not about being the best and winning the race. It's about facing the worst, and still finishing". That's what I am trying to do here - no matter how tough things are, I DO NOT want to QUIT. 

This was like a drop of rain in the desert. It suddenly opened my eyes, and I began to saw the immense love dear mother universe has for me. It is, indeed, trying to do what I badly want. I want to overcome this negative side of my persona - where the loser in me strikes back the moment the equilibrium of things start to disbalance - and that's what it is giving me - opportunities to improve myself!! 

~PeAcE oUt~